Perhaps it was because of my extended childhood that I decided to rush into adulthood so quickly. I aOlernKienOP Jordan Retro 9 2009 NY Giants Fantasy Football Preview couldn’t wait to join the real world. In fact, it was probably little over a year from growing boobs and making use of the Cold War style stockpile of tampons I had accumulated that I decided to leave home.
Young, and in hindsight, particularly ill equipped, I launched myself into the dubiously exciting world of rent, flatmates, bills, feeding myself regularly and holding down a job. Although I often failed spectacularly on the last point in particular I am still here. Still alive. Still the defiantly independent kid I was ten years ago, still desperately seeking independence, adventure, challenges and change. Still struggling with the basic breakfast/lunch/dinner aOlernKienOP Nike LeBron 12 ‘Polanski’s’ Greed arrangement. Still wanting to quote Dr Dre if I say the word ‘still’ one more time.
Change represents something different for everyone. For some, it is avoided, a symbol of instability and loss of control. For others like myself it is sought after, the king tide of life that booms in, washing away the routine and leaving a fresh slate.
Change can be a surprise, or change can be something you create yourself. I’m particularly good at the latter in fact, I quit my job a few weeks ago. I was commuting back and forth from Sydney to Melbourne on a weekly basis, and apart from collecting some sick frequent flyer points; I was living a split life. Half the week with my fabulous apartment and even more fabulous boyfriend; half the week in a serviced apartment with takeaway and another episode of How The Weather Changed History. I knew it was time to reassess when my Melbourne take away delivery guy knew my name and order, and yet my local Sydney barista did not. (Barista, Mum not barrister. Breathe.) So there you go. I quit.
Completely unaware of how old and stiff I had become, I arrived cheerily at my final day at work, shook hands and waved goodbye, drunk a shitload of terrible airplane red wine, landed in my new permanent home of Sydney, and then promptly burst into tears. Change! The life force that used to make me laugh manically and jump for joy was making me cry? What the hell? I wasn’t even pre menstrual.
As the world of unemployment rolled in, and my impermeable old routine was watercoloured down to late sleep ins and a growing attachment to my tracksuit pants and Netflix, I fell into a depression of sorts. Change was here, and it was kicking my ass. The same power that buoyed me through a Air Jordan 14s break up, sleeping on inflatable mattresses on my cousins floor when I was homeless, last minute overseas work trips and being alone in a new city had somehow grown an evil second head, and was destroying me.
It was nothing short of pure grunt and motivation (and a few “get real, loser” messages from family and friends) that eventually pulled me out of bed and back into the real world. Sitting here now in my local caf, bunging out some writing, sipping coffee, and wearing form fitting/ non elastic clothing, I am feeling myself again. Excited by the change. Ready for the adventure.
(And no, the barista doesn’t know my name yet, although he does give me a familiar smile each day. It’s a start. Either that or he wants to bang me.)
Like many unemployed folk in my area shout out to Bus Stop Mary, y’all, no I don’t have a lighter I spend my days sitting, sipping, watching. Students and business people rush back and forth: home to work, work to home, to dinner, to breakfast, to lunch, to the gym, to anywhere they are needed but rarely where they want to be. Busy days and busy nights and busy minds. It is Air Jordan 19s little wonder that when change comes a knockin’, and basically fucks shit up, the general reaction mirrors mine: fear. We take such little time to stop, to be kind to ourselves, to imagine how we would cope should everything be turned on its head. Gen Y can tell you the name of the surfboarding pig in Hawaii or the latest death toll from the Gaza Strip, but probably not where they want to be in a few years time. We have bumped back the consistent and reliable constants love, self confidence, friendship, bargain prices at Aldi to prize the transient, time consuming variables of life work, ego, social status, Facebook.
My goal for now is to embrace change. To go back to seeking it, to use it’s tidal quality to wash away all the flotsam that inevitably gathers in modern life, and have a clear mind to work with.
Here’s a little story to finish off.
My cousin, the same one who loaned her spare room, air mattress, remarkable fridge contents and patience during my difficult start to 2014, has just done something particularly cool. Married and managing an extremely high aOlernKienOP Air Jordan 15s how do you tell if a shoe is goodyear welted and is it bette stress job (yes, they’re two different things), she recently took a personal hiatus in New York. Two weeks, by herself, embracing change. Practicing change. Sharpening her claws of independence, walking away from the safety of routine and feeling the almighty force of ‘the new and scary’ again. I aOlernKienOP Air Jordan 9 You’re the only one who understands me feel like we could all do a little bit of this is in our lives seek a challenge, a change, and use it to practice flexibility and a positive response to those times where Shit Gets Fucked Up.
That, and ditch the tracksuit pants and Netflix.
A china teacup sits next to the flowers, atop a vintage copy of The Great Gatsby. A pair of horn rimmed glasses completes the picture of Air Jordan 12s vintage perfection.
Wait, no. The sepia tone of the Valencia filter completes the picture of vintage perfection. Wait, actually maybe it the mahogany wooden finish on the table that completes the picture of vintage perfection. Wait, no, no, let me try again. It’s gotta be the fine lace and floral print nightgown draped over the four poster bed with a sapphire brooch and 1927 issue Vogue near the painting of blue bells behind the four poster bed behind the bunch of blooming flowers and horn aOlernKienOP Air Jordan CDP UW Daily Bulletin rimmed glasses that completes the picture of vintage perfection.
Fuck it, you know what I’m saying. Old shit has become the new cool shit.
Let’s Air Jordan 16s play a drinking game. I want you to scroll through your Instagram feed. Every time you spot a picture that fits the term “vintage perfection”, I want you to take a swig. Apart from being a sure fire way to get wildly pissed, it’s also going to lessen the pain of realising the majority of your Insta mates are a bunch of trendy morons, fast tracking their twenties to their seventies with every porcelain purchase they make at the Sunday markets.
Lace trimmed bobby socks, two tone brogues, tea cup sets, cupcake parties, flower arrangements on your bedside table, ‘Sundays in bed with a cup of tea’ (don’t aOlernKienOP Air Jordan Fusion 5 Woman found guilty in Shockoe Bottom hit Air Jordan 8s lie, you arse hat, you’re hungover and I know that’s coffee) Grannie Chic has taken over as the hot new thing. I blush with shame, as I too am guilty of uploading smug photos of a bunch of flowers, but in fairness it’s usually because I’m mortified I have spent such a hefty chunk of my measly pay on something that’s going to die in approximately 48 hours, and I’m likely to view less than three times. I’ve had Sea Monkeys that have felt like a better investment.
I would like to take this opportunity to blame Taylor Swift and Pinterest for the Grannie Chic Trend.
Taylor Swift has been parading around in her high waisted pleated skirts, and pin curl bullshit for just a little too long for my liking. And just for the record, anyone who pisses off Kanye pisses of me. I not only do not trust people who don’t Air Jordan 6s dye their hair, but I definitely do not aOlernKienOP Jordan Pro Strong Long Run wins King George trust someone who wears red lipstick on the beach. WHO WEARS LIPSTICK ON THE BEACH?! (I can’t even manage to keep my bikini pants up in the surf, let alone wrangle haywire red lipstick across my I would look like the victim of a box jellyfish attack.)
And Pinterest? Well fuck you, Pinterest. I don’t need to know that people are hot glue gunning strips of velvet to their wooden coat hangers to prevent silky tops sliding off. Because now, when I can’t get my goddamn silky tops to stay on my goddamn wooden coat hangers, instead of being like a normal person and having a tantrum before letting the silky shirt sit on the floor of my wardrobe, I am now burdened with the guilt of Air Jordan 1s knowing there is something I could have done Air Jordan 2011 about it.
Grannie Chic is some kind of bastard child between the Nouveau Hippy movement (flower headbands, fringed kaftans, dolphin bongs) and the 20 Is The New 30 movement (22 year old advertising gurus, Jack London suits, buying dogs). It’s all about staying in, cooking gluten free fruit flan and taking cute Instagram shots of your home made whiskey sours in old jam jars. Where the hell is everyone getting these jam jars, anyway? The jam I buy comes in a plastic jar. No one wants to drink a shitty homemade cocktail out of an old plastic Aldi jam container, do they? No. Fail.
I cannot help but wonder what the repercussions of the Grannie Chic movement will be. Are all these trendy floral clad fancies going to keep up the game until they are actually Grannies, Air Jordan 23s and then reverse into aOlernKienOP Nike Air Foamposite One Horseback riding shoes dressing like a 20 year old? We are essentially grooming a generation of future slutty Grannies, mutton dressed as lamb, tits and arse geriatrics with shimmery eye shadow and scuffed Lipstik heels. Christ, it will be like the apocalypse, with a sea of skanky old people shuffling the streets. And I mean shuffling in the glow stick/ Ben Cousins kind of way.
Let me end this all with a lesson, kids.
I remember going to a school dance aged twelve looking like a present day Britney Spears. Total hot mess. I was an electrifying shock of crimped hair, kohl rimmed eyes, glitter fucking everywhere and an outfit that would likely be better suited to a drag queen than a pre pubescent child. I came home in tears because no boys wanted to dance with me. Little bloody wonder, they would have been terrified.
“Honey, dress your age. Then the boys will dance with you” was the sage advice my wise Mother offered. (Just for the record, I’m pretty sure it was my bottle opener teeth and erratic dance moves that could have been to blame, I thought the outfit was pretty cool.) And thus, I offer up the same advice to my Grannie Chic peers: dress your age. Act your age. There is a long, long stretch of retirement ahead of you in which you will have more than enough time to collect miniature dachshund statues.
Do you want the boys to dance with you or not?
Yes, Vaseline. That thick glutinous substance oft used by professions in which a plastic glove is involved. I took a great hunk of that clear goop and I smeared it across my Why? Well, mostly because the internet told me to, but also because I’m getting wrinkles. Deep lines, life scars of sleepless Nike KD 7 nights, stressed out days, and weeks and months and years of dirty living that are etched across aOlernKienOP Air Jordan 18s Lexington Budget Wine my forehead, under my eyes, into my cheeks. Little whispery lines around my aOlernKienOP Air Jordan 2010 State Representative 23rd District eyes like the creeping veins of dried up creek beds. Fine slivers of ageing criss crossing my face like deep cracks in the ice.